Yesterday was Imogen Holmes' funeral. I have never attended the funeral of someone so young before. The bright colours and t-shirts bearing various cartoon characters seemed appropriate. Dad, Jason, wore a bright green t-shirt with Tom & Jerry. Big brother, Kody, wore a bright yellow Sponge-Bob t-shirt. Me, I had a bright red t-shirt that had a Ben 10 patch sewn onto it (you can't buy Ben10 t-shirts in my size - even though I'm not that big). Butterfly's were released, with one appropriately landing on the family and hanging around - maybe it was Immie. Balloons were released en masse by everyone present. It was spectacular. There were so many people. And it was terribly sad.
I stood at the gravesite behind a little boy, maybe 4 years old, with his mum and two older brothers. I don't think he stopped crying. I've never witnessed such sadness in someone so young. I don't want to witness it again. Later, one of his brothers remarked that this little boy had cried all the way in the car. Why does a small child have to know such grief? I wonder what impact it has on such a small life, to have known and understood such sadness at such a young age.
I spoke to Jason briefly after the funeral. I shook his hand, gave him a man hug, and said "I've got nothing to say." "There's nothing to say", replied Jason. "Just look after your little boy." "I will", I said, as we parted company. "But that's not going to bring back your little girl" I wanted to scream. "I want my little boy to learn to be cheeky from the master! I want him to know Immie! I want him to ask to go see 'Imja'."
As Oliver played in "Imogen's Castle" at the wake, he was calling out for her. Each night, when we ask him who he would like to pray for, 'Imja' always rates a mention.
The loss of such a young, vibrant, bright life is something I cannot comprehend.
God bless you 'Imja'. Keep watch over us. Keep watch over my little boy. And, yes, you can encourage him to be cheeky too.
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Heartbreak & Hope
This weekend I was team captain for a team in the Relay For Life, a fundraising event for the Cancer Council.
As I was about to get a snooze in before the Relay For Life started, we received the heartbreaking news that our beautiful little friend Immie had passed away.
We have watched in joy and sadness as Immie has overcome her cancer, only for it to re-emerge again and again, until there was finally nothing that could be done. Immie has become progressively more ill since Christmas as her family have done all they can to make her final days as enjoyable as they could be for her, amidst her pain and sickness.
Immie had her birthday party 3 weeks ago. It was held 2 weeks early, in the fear that she would not be able to see her 6th. But brave, strong, bossy little Immie kept right on marching. She almost seemed to be improving - and we hoped for a miracle. But it was not to be. On Saturday morning, at 1:19, Immie lost her battle. She was 6 years old.
One of the motto's for Relay For Life is "Hope is why we relay". I found little to hope for, other than that I wouldn't become a blubbering mess in the middle of the track. Part of the Relay For Life is a Candlelighting service to remember those who are no longer with us. You can decorate a paper bag and place a candle in it to burn through the night. This is the one I did for Immie.
As I was about to get a snooze in before the Relay For Life started, we received the heartbreaking news that our beautiful little friend Immie had passed away.
We have watched in joy and sadness as Immie has overcome her cancer, only for it to re-emerge again and again, until there was finally nothing that could be done. Immie has become progressively more ill since Christmas as her family have done all they can to make her final days as enjoyable as they could be for her, amidst her pain and sickness.
Immie had her birthday party 3 weeks ago. It was held 2 weeks early, in the fear that she would not be able to see her 6th. But brave, strong, bossy little Immie kept right on marching. She almost seemed to be improving - and we hoped for a miracle. But it was not to be. On Saturday morning, at 1:19, Immie lost her battle. She was 6 years old.
One of the motto's for Relay For Life is "Hope is why we relay". I found little to hope for, other than that I wouldn't become a blubbering mess in the middle of the track. Part of the Relay For Life is a Candlelighting service to remember those who are no longer with us. You can decorate a paper bag and place a candle in it to burn through the night. This is the one I did for Immie.
I never was much of an artist
Oliver blowing kisses to Immie's candle.Our hearts go out to Fiona & Jason, and big brother Kody, and little brother Ashton, and the family that has supported them so much in these dark days. Though it was known to be coming, it doesn't make it any easier.
This is one of Immie's pictures. It seems to say so much, and be such an amazing insight by a beautiful little girl. The rain is obvious, but if you look, there is a sun still shining, and flowers still smiling. The paradox of life both confounds and intrigues me - and Immie's picture captures the lives we lead.
Goodbye sweet Imogen. You will be in our hearts and minds always.Immie's mum's blog
http://theholmesgang.blogspot.com
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