Chemo Tomorrow?

We head back in to the hospital tomorrow. If Oliver's blood is OK then he will be in line to start his third cycle. unfortunately, I don't think he has picked up enough. Of course we don't know, but he has been a little more sleepy and pale these last few days. I'm expecting that he won't have chemo tomorrow either, which raises the paradox of how I feel about his ongoing treatment.

From a nasty-chemicals-in-his-system point of view, we are glad he has been able to miss his last couple of treatments and just have a fairly regular life. The other side of the coin is that the treatments are destroying any lingering cancer cells, and keeping it that way. Without the treatment, I find myself wondering if we are giving the cancer a window of opportunity to resurrect itself, putting us back at square one. No point losing sleep about it. He may end up beginning his next cycle tomorrow. We'll have to wait and see.

We are really happy to hear that friends Wayne and Tammy are moving to Perth soon. Although we don't see them much, it's hard not to love spending time with them. I got off the phone with Wayne (Dougo) today and couldn't help but feel pretty special, that he was really excited at the prospect of catching up next week. We are looking forward to your arrival guys.

I often have people tell me about what's happening at home for them with their children, but with a regular disclaimer about it not being anything like what we have been through and that we have had a very rough ride, or that they don't think they could do it. I don't really know how to respond to that without belittling our predicament, because it is not one that I would wish on anybody. The truth is that you do what has to be done. I look at the mum's and dad's who come in to the gym each morning and am in awe. I know that many of them have a number of young children, many of whom don't sleep through the night, and that they also work fulltime jobs or are caring for a few kids while their partner is off working long hours. I'm not sure I could do what they are doing. One little boy who, apart from the cancer thing, sleeps well, runs almost to clockwork with his routine, eats everything we place remotely near his mouth, is tiring enough, and I have a flexible job that allows for nanna naps and early finishes. Parenting is a tough gig, and anyone who is doing it is probably doing it tough for most of the time. As for Oliver's predicament being much more dire than other children, in one sense it is. But kids get sick, and they can't tell you what is happening all the time, and so I think we all respond in as protective and caring way as we can, and if we don't get the right answers, we keep going in to bat for our little ones. I guess what I'm saying is, to all the parents out there, give yourselves a pat on the back, and all your little ones (and your partner) a big hug. It's ok to be protective and paranoid, because you'll never forgive yourself if you felt you should have done something but didn't. Never apologise for loving your babies. Kudos to all the mum's and dad's.