Friday, December 26, 2008

Boxing Day Rant (Merry Christmas - Part 3)

My apologies to all, but there are things I've been wanting to get off my chest and having yet had the chance to do so.

As has been said earlier, Karli and I have both hit the wall. I was hoping that an early start to my holidays and our break down in Busselton might change that, but as yet we aren't perking up too much. For my part, I have been on the verge of tears at the drop of a hat over the past week. Whether it's the extra time and space to think, or the more intense time being spent with my two babies, I don't know. I do know I don't feel particularly refreshed, and am unsure that much will change during my last week of holidays.

Our little boy is battling along. He's ratty and clingy again thanks to the steroids. Unfortunately he is also dealing with the side effects of the methotrexate, which he hasn't had for a while, and has never had intravenously. So he's a bit more lethargic and unsteady. It's nice to have so many cuddles though. The hard part is trynig to figure out what is going on for him. I'm sure he must feel really crappy, but he just can't say anything.

It was good to see some of our friends in at PMH on Wednesday. We talked to the parents of the little girl who was admitted around the same time as us. She has finished most of her treatment for now and is coming in every month or so for blood and urine tests. She looks so good now. Her hair is growing back and she has put on a heap of weight. It's lovely to see her looking better. The little guy only 2 weeks older than Oliver was able to go home for Christmas for a few days. He still needs regular antibiotics injected, but the home nurse will be doing that. Unfortunately he will be back in on Monday for daily radiotherapy. Hopefully his treamtment is coming to a successful end in the next month or so. It was lovely to see the mum and daughter who were in the room when we were initially admitted. It was heart breaking to learn that, after having completed treatment for a relapse, she has relapsed again. I couldn't believe the beautiful and genuine smile I got when I said hello to the little girl. She is amazing. And our ever present friends from Mandurah were still there, trekkiing back and forth from Ronald McDonald House. I don't think they have been home for any reasonable length of time for about 3 or 4 months.

"I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet". You may have heard this little proverb before. It kind of sums up my mindset. I find I waver between mourning the plight of my little boy and rejoicing for the way in which he is overcoming it. I want to be positive, but there is always a little voice in the back of my head reminding me that the tough part may be coming to an end, but the road ahead is still long. In the midst of my negativity I summed up life in two sayings.

Life is never so bad that it can't get worse.

You might be doing it tough, but someone else is doing it tougher.

Not the most cheery sayings, but they keep me on the cautiously optimistic side of life.

Probably not as much of a rant as I first expected, but I'm tired, and I'm off to bed. Some very cute photo's and video to leave you with. I really should be more optimistic.


Walking with my trolley in Busselton

Cuddles with mum in my monkey towel

Bathtime with dad

Cute cheeks

Opening a present from Uncle Gordon, Aunty Tarn, Tyran and new baby Jyden

2 comments:

Michelle Moore said...

Still following along, and thinking of you often. Love you,
Moores xox

Unknown said...

Hi there, Happy New Year! Been catching up on your blog and just wanted you know that we read it often and think of you often. Don't be too hard on yourselves for feeling down, its all part of the process that you are going through. There will be many ups and downs, tears and laughter - eventually you WILL come out the otherside, it just may take a while. Its the time of year to be positive and look forward. You have so much to look forward too, your boy is doing so well and looks just great, as do both of you!! I just want to hold him tight and give him a big kiss, can you do it for me! Cant wait for him to met our beautiful Georgia one day - what fun they will have. Love to all there from Jeanette and family xxxxxx