It is only just after 6am and already I am into the chocolate. Oliver has been awake since 5:15am, with a poo which I changed & then put him back to bed, since then he has continued to chatter, mostly to say Dad, Dad, Dad. I gave up the notion of going back to sleep a while ago & then was getting so agitated in bed I decided to get up. My rule is that I won’t get Oliver up until 6:30am.
I just read Simons latest blog entry and so softened that I went in to settle my son as he had been crying for the last 10 minutes, at last there is silence – for how long? I don’t know!
I am losing my patience. Yesterday I was very close to losing it too. I picked/swung Oliver up yesterday roughly & he just looked at me with these wide eyes, he knew I was mad & we stared at each other for half a second & then I just made a funny exasperated noise. I know it is still the drugs affecting his behaviour, he has about a 5 second attention span, perhaps it is actually a few minutes, but to me it feels like 5 seconds.
Another favourite in his vocabulary is Nan Nan to which following he makes a dog noise, which means he wants to go and see Nanna & Bindi (their dog). So because the weather was yucky & I felt we needed to get out of our house to a different scene, we drove down to Nanna’s just to visit Bindi as everyone else was at work. This is where I noticed the 5 second attention span, as I was hoping he would be enamoured enough with the dog & the different toys at Nanna’s that I could have a cup of tea – silly me! Silly me for even making a cup of tea as that ended up spilt on Nanna & Grandad’s rug, lucky it is a colourful one, so the spilt tea is not too noticeable, it was whilst cleaning this up with Oliver motioning that he was ready to go home, followed by him playing on the stairs & then hurting himself that I then picked him up roughly.
Needless to say yesterday was a long, tough day. We both missed Simon as he had been home with us for the past 5 days.
You may well notice that it has been a long while since I have written on the blog & I admire Simon's dedicaton to being able to do so, despite how he is feeling. For me I have been battling with anxiety & depression and so therefore have not felt like writing.
So back to the tea & chocolate, I confess to being at it again, but I have had breakfast in between. After giving Oliver his 1st breakfast of cornflakes & peaches in his highchair, then his 2nd breakfast of toast & milk at his table, doing some chores, playing trucks, reading stories - I am exhausted and you would not believe it, I am not even finished my cup of tea and my little blessing is awake again - so off I go for Round 2 of the day, knowing that Simon will be home shortly makes it not so overwhelming.
Ta ta for now
Love Karli
4 comments:
Whatever works to get you thru I reckon, and better chocolate than (other) drugs! Mmmmm, chocolate, it's never too early for chocolate...
I too would be eating chocolate today as Sam has just worken up from a sleep - a paltry 20 mins! I am not ready for another round. Unfortunately I have food poisoning again (I have no idea of how I keep getting this) and prior experience has convinced me the two don't combine well. Thanks for the blogging honesty. Hope you got my recent email. Thinking of you lots. Love E
Hi Love,
No one can ever understand the emotions of being surrounded by a sick child, one that just antibotics or bed rest are not going to fix. It's hard work..no extremely hard work..I wish I could say it gets easier, I can't : (. All I tell you is let yourself of the hook, nothing can prepare you for this heartache, no one can say what is right to feel or what is wrong..or even tell you when is best to be eating chocolate : ). As there is no road map or book, just take each day at a time..try not to look forward in years or even months as it makes the journey way to overwhelming.
Big Hugs and Love,
Please know we are thinking of you
Fiona (Immies mum)
You are wise, brave and great for this level of honesty. Most of us have got to this point with a WELL kid. My heart is with you. I hope your time away will be a celebration and new start for a sunny season. Love.
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