Mum and Olly had a rough night last night. Oliver's tummy is pretty upset, so not much sleep was had by Karli. His funny tummy has resulted in a practically perpetually running bottom, and the occasional very nasty looking diahorrea. I was over it by the end of today and I find it hard to not have somewhere to direct my anger. Olly is in fairly constant pain and discomfort, and can't tell us what is going on for him, and can only do what babies do, let it all out when it wants to come out.
It's the chemo that is doing this to him. The mucusitis, the susceptibility to infection, the funny tummy, the diahorrea, the drooling, the hair loss, the irritability, the pain and discomfort. It's the drugs we are giving him that are causing all these things. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't in a way. And there are no guarantees as to whether or not it's going to pay off. I hate it and what it is doing to my boy.
But of course there is a reason for it. We had a PET scan today. This scan is meant to pick up the hotspots of cancer, where it is doing the most growing. I haven't got anything specific, but apparently the scan showed that the chemo was working well. So it seems the chemo is doing everything it is supposed to do. I only wish it would just go for the cancer.
So we have a very big positive, but it's the negatives that we see everyday, and they are wearing. Tears, moaning, blood, itching, increased pain relief requirements, mouth care regimen's, bottom care regimens, special cream for lesions on the skin. Tomorrow we have a CT scan and bone marrow aspiration. During this time they will reinsert a canula and de needle Oliver because his port seems to be a bit infected and isn't doing what it should. We may be looking at surgery to rectify the problem. There just doesn't seem to be an end in sight, and it doesn't look like it will ever be an easy ride.
1 comment:
Karli, Simon and dear Oliver you are all doing it so so tuff and I hear your utter frustration and pain. Although you feel you are in a 'no win' situation , you are wining, there is the positive news that the chemo is working and in time Little Oliver's other negative miseries which are fixable will hopefully subside quickly. Praying that the next couple of days can sort out some of the issues . It is like the good comes with the bad and this is the crappy part you both have to see him suffer and I know you would rather it be you than him. Just keep pouring out your love as you are, he needs it all. Little Oliver has proven to be a battler and battling against big odds, but he is doing it ..what a winner. Winners have great people behind them! He draws his strength from those who love him. You may feel you are frail sometimes, its all too much and feel a sence of helpless as you watch what happens to your spcial little treasure but remember the touch, the hugs, the smiles can all be a great source of strength to him. My prayer is that your strength will be renewed every morning to cope with what the day brings. "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness".
HUGS to you all Luv Christine xoxo
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